Over coming heart ache from the past through forgiveness
Forgiving myself and others through time
As a child, I have been afraid and has a very low self worth. I had made mistakes in my life that I only truly understand when I was a young adult. I had hurt many people unintentionally and I am too arrogant to face myself. In fact, I am not like other people who had found their selves early in life. I only started making peace with myself when I was 25. It took me a long time to accept who I really am inside; It took me a lot of time to accept what I truly feel inside, and honestly, finding yourself the hard way hurts like hell.
I am not the popular kid on the block, I am just an average person who thrives to be a better person everyday. When I was much younger, I was always afraid to show my feelings not because of being rejected, but because of the feeling that I will always be inadequate to the other person. I didn't realize that my self worth is low when I was young. All of the traumas, experiences and heartaches made me to be emotionally distant. It was my comfort zone.
I always fell for someone that I wouldn't have a heart to be closed with. I wouldn't even try to keep an on-going relationship, because I believe the pain would be so much, if they are the ones who would first leave me.. I didn't see and believe that I would be worthy as part of their lives. I am foolish to leave or not to try. I believe that in some ways, I still carry it but I am asking forgiveness everyday so that my wounds would not go on and hurt others.
"Time is inevitable" is the phrase I carry out in my heart. I love this phrase because time heals all wounds and reveals the right answers in its perfect time. No one can stop time to unfold and unravel life's mysteries. If things come too early in my life, there are many things that I would miss out and not understand. There are many experiences that would not happen and there are many people that would not be with me today. I would be different and life may have shown me a different path. BUT, given a chance to repeat or alter what happened in my life, I know I would not change it nor would I want to repeat it. I may have some regrets but it was all part of me, not yet forgiving myself.
I am writing this blog because I am asking forgiveness to others and for myself. I am writing about this topic because I want to share with you that by asking forgiveness, you too can have a 360 degrees perspective about life. Lastly, I am writing this blog because I wanted to have a peace in my heart in time.
I am truly sorry for not becoming a better person or not over coming or facing myself.
I now tell you, You have been part of my life and an inspiration.
As you read this blog, let us all ask forgiveness from others and through ourselves.
